PLANNING YOUR WEDDING

This section of the website is designed for couples who wish to be married in St Nicolas, Newbury or St Mary's, Speen. What is set out here is all included in the Wedding Pack which is sent to all those who enquire about getting married at the churches.

Please contact the Parish Co-ordinator, Sue Elliott, at the St Nicolas Church Office (tel: 01635 529783 or email selliott@st-nicolas-newbury.org) if you have any questions.

Couples sometimes wish to reaffirm their marriage vows, perhaps when celebrating significant anniversaries or when marking reconciliation after a time of separation or difficulty. We are very happy to help - please get in touch if you would like to explore this. Click here to go to relevant information on the Church of England's website.

WHO CAN MARRY IN CHURCH?

You're very welcome to get married in church as long as you fulfil the following conditions.

First, one of you has to be a man and the other a woman. Both of you normally have to be at least eighteen years old, though with the consent of their parents people can get married from the age of sixteen.

Secondly, one of you has to live within the area covered by the Newbury Team Ministry or be on the electoral roll of one of the churches in the Team. To join the electoral roll you have to be a regular worshipper at church for six months.

This second rule will change from October 1st 2008. From this date, it will be much easier for couples to get married in a church where they have a family or other special connection, even if they don't live in the parish. Click here for more details.

You have the legal right to be married in church unless either of you has been married before and has a partner still living. Under these circumstances, the decision on whether or not to marry you rests with the clergy concerned. Although the answer is often 'yes', you should not take this for granted and must discuss it with them before making any arrangements.

BOOKING THE CHURCH

You need to book the church for your chosen date immediately. Call Sue Elliott at the office on 01635 529783. Weddings usually take place on a Saturday but don't have to. You can be married on any day of the week at any time between 8.00 am and 6.00 pm. Bear in mind that the church may be being used by other people or the ministers may be busy elsewhere - so make sure you book your chosen date before going ahead with any other arrangements.

BANNS OF MARRIAGE

The law says that you need to have your banns read at the main service in church on three Sundays during the three months before your marriage. This has to be done at the church where you wish to be married and also, if appropriate, at the church in the parish where your future husband or wife lives. Please note Section 15 on the Application Form and the notes on the reverse side.

For banns read at St Nicolas or St Mary's the charge in 2008 and 2009 is £22.00. If banns need to be read at another church you will need to make arrangements with that church's minister. Their charge will be £34.00, which includes a certificate stating that the banns have been read. This certificate needs to be brought to the church office here before your wedding.

Your Banns will be read at the 9:15 am or 11:00 am service at St Nicolas or at the 10:30 am service at Speen on three Sundays some time during the three months before your wedding, but not usually on the Sunday immediately before the wedding. Please fill in the Banns Application Form enclosed in the wedding pack and return it to the Church Office as soon as possible. Do come along to the church to hear them if you can.

WEDDING FORM

The form enclosed with the wedding pack (or you can click here to download a copy) needs to be returned to the church office as soon as possible. You do not need to include any payment at this stage. An account will be sent to you a few weeks before the wedding.

FLOWERS

St Nicolas

There are always some flower arrangements in the church except during Lent. If you want flowers during Lent, or if you would like to make any other arrangements about flowers, please contact Mrs Pat Fraser as soon as possible, telephone 01635 46071. If you use another florist please contact the church office to check when the church is available for them to arrange the flowers.

St Mary's, Speen

Under the leadership of Mavis Brind (telephone 01635 44364), a team of ladies purchases and arranges flowers for weddings at St Mary's. Pedestals cost £50 each and pew end arrangements cost £15 each. Flowers must be ordered and paid for in full not less than eight weeks before the date of your wedding.

REHEARSAL

A wedding rehearsal with the bride, chief bridesmaid, groom, best man and the bride's father (especially if he is to give her away) is held on the Thursday or Friday evening before your wedding (or at another convenient time).

MARRIAGE PREPARATION COURSE

It will take an enormous amount of time and energy to prepare for your wedding. But don't forget to invest in what follows - you need also to prepare for your marriage. With divorce figures escalating, we urge all couples who get married to participate in a process of preparation. Our aim is to help you both to build strong and lasting foundations for your life together. We hold a one-day course on a Saturday in the autumn which is repeated in the spring. Details may be found here. Please do try to come to one of these. Each day runs from 9:30 am to 3:30 pm. Lunch is provided.

FEES

Apart from the cost of having your Banns read, you will also need to pay the legal fees decided each year by Parliament. These fees are usually increased in January of each year and you have to pay the fees in operation at the date of your wedding. The cost for weddings in 2008 is £247.00. In 2009 the cost is likely to be £254.00. The Marriage Certificate costs £3.50. All other fees are detailed on the Wedding Planning form.

PHOTOGRAPHY AND VIDEO-RECORDING

Please note that no photography is permitted during the service itself without the express permission of the clergy. Under exceptional circumstances (eg, where close relatives are unable to get to the wedding) we sometimes allow wedding services to be audio and/or video recorded, but you need to bear in mind that the fees of any professional musicians you hire go up by up to 50% for audio recording and up to 100% for video recording. Please see the leaflet in the wedding pack for further details or click here to download a copy.

CLERGY

It's usual for one of the ministers at St Nicolas to conduct the service but we are very happy for other clergy - friends or relations of the couple, perhaps - to be involved in, for example, giving the address or leading the prayers. Feel free to ask if you would like this.

FORM OF SERVICE

Most couples who marry in church opt for the modern language service from the Church of England's modern prayer book, Common Worship. Click here to see the text of this service. Some couples choose the form of service from the 1662 Book of Common Prayer, which uses traditional language from the seventeenth century. Click here to see the text of this service. Although undoubtedly very beautiful, it does contain some archaic ways of putting things which can jar on modern ears. A third option is the 1966 revision of the traditional language service which removes the features which people sometimes find off-putting. This is virtually identical with a revision of the Prayer Book proposed in 1928. Click here to see the text of this service.

The text of the Service of Prayer and Dedication after a Civil Marriage may be found here.

GIVING AWAY

The traditional role of the father or another family member in formally 'giving away' the bride is observed by many couples today but is an optional part of the modern service.

RINGS

Although it used to be the case that only the bride received a wedding ring, it's much more common these days for both bride and groom to give and receive a ring.

READINGS

You'll need to include at least one reading from the Bible in the service. You will find some suggestions here.

People sometimes like to have a reading from another source as well. Provided the clergy agree, this is fine. You might like to think about inviting someone close to you to read one or both of the readings. Make sure you pick people who won't be put off on the big day!

MUSIC

Our Director of Music is Mrs Sarah Cope (telephone 01635 49341). For weddings at St Nicolas we are able to offer services of an organ and organist, a choir and, if required, a trumpeter to play a trumpet voluntary. It can be difficult to gather a reasonable number of choir members during school holidays but we will let you know if this is the case. You can ask for the bell-ringers to be on hand to celebrate the occasion with a peal of bells before and/or after the service.

You will need to think about:

• music before the service (usually left to the organist to decide but you may have your own ideas) music for the entrance of the bride
• two or three hymns and/or songs
• music during the signing of the registers
• music for you to process out of church together at the end of the service

ORGAN VOLUNTARIES

For details of these please contact the organist we will put you in touch with.

TRUMPET VOLUNTARIES

If you wish you could have a trumpet as well as the organ for the incoming or outgoing voluntaries, such as John Stanley's 'Trumpet Tune' or Charpentier's 'Prelude'.

HYMNS AND SONGS

The usual practice is to choose three. Please be careful when choosing hymns - 'Fight the good fight with all your might' or 'Dear Lord and Father of mankind, forgive our foolish ways' might not send out the right message! Should you need any advice in choosing hymns for the congregation to sing during the service please feel free to contact the minister taking your wedding or ask Sarah Cope. You are welcome to borrow copies of the two hymn books we use in church to help you choose. Some of the most popular hymns chosen for weddings are listed below. Those we particularly recommend are marked with an asterisk. Click on the link to see the words in full.

* All creatures of our God and King
All people that on earth do dwell
* All things bright and beautiful
Amazing grace
And can it be that I should gain
At the name of Jesus
Be our chief guest, Lord
Bind us together
Colours of day
Father, hear the prayer we offer
For the beauty of the earth
Give me joy in my heart
* Great is thy faithfulness
Guide me, O thou great redeemer
How great thou art
Immortal, invisible, God only wise
Jesus stand among us
* Lead us, heavenly Father, lead us
* Lord of all hopefulness
Lord of the dance
Lord, for the years
* Love divine, all love excelling
Make me a channel of your peace
Morning has broken
* Now thank we all our God
O Father all-creating
O perfect love
* O worship the King
Peace, perfect peace
* Praise, my soul, the King of heaven
* Praise to the Lord, the almighty
Tell out, my soul
* The King of love my shepherd is
* The Lord's my shepherd, I'll not want
To God be the glory, great things he hath done

CHOIR ANTHEMS

During the signing of the register the choir can sing an Anthem. The repertoire at the moment is most commonly:

Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring (J S Bach)
The Lord's my Shepherd (Psalm 23)
All Things Bright and Beautiful (John Rutter)
Panis Angelicus (Cesar Franck)
Ave Maria (Franz Schubert)

However, given sufficient time to prepare, we are always happy to sing other anthems or songs.

ORDERS OF SERVICE

You may like to have a special order of service printed for the occasion. Here are some guidelines about what is usually included:

• At the Entrance of the Bride: print the title of the music and the composer.
• Hymn: print the words, or you can use our hymn books and print the number.
• The Marriage
• Reading: print the Bible book, chapter and verses.
• Address
• Hymn: as above
• The Prayers, including the Lord's Prayer (printed out in either its traditional or modern form)
• Hymn: as above
• The Blessing
• The Signing of the Registers (If you decide to have an anthem or other music during the signing you can print the title and the composer.)
• Recessional: print the title of the music and the composer.

Please note that some ministers may suggest moving the Signing of the Registers to the point before the Prayers. In any event we strongly recommend that you ask the minister taking the service to check the proofs before you proceed with printing.

Do you want to know more? Contact us now...