The pastoral carer will always be endeavouring to help others to do more for themselves rather than acting on their behalf. Jesus does not live our lives for us - his caring calls us into greater responsiveness. The pastoral care of others is a duty that belongs to every Christian. It is one way in which we foster the well-being of all people, individually and corporately. It is not simply or even mainly about repairing or resolving things when they have gone wrong; it is also about sharing in community, feasting in friendship, exchanging mutual support. It is about recognizing, welcoming, affirming, encouraging and rejoicing with others and receiving this recognition, welcome, affirmation and encouragement from them. AIMS AND FOCUSThe overall aims of pastoral care are to fulfil Our Lord's intention that 'they may have life and may have it to the full', and to increase the mutual bonds of love between human beings in a community. The focus of pastoral care is on change and growth. VALUESPastoral care is built upon the acceptance and promotion of the unique and equal worth of all human beings regardless of their gender, colour, status, physical or intellectual abilities or their sexual orientation. Inherent in the practice of pastoral care is:
• respect for the life style, life goals and values of others;
• acceptance of their personalities; and
• a non-judgmental attitude. STANDARDSThe standards which govern the practice of pastoral care include the following: • to avoid harming the recipient by what is done or not done;
• to acknowledge that the relationship between carer and recipient is at that time unequal, involving on the part of the carer a commitment to the recipient. No advantages (personal, sexual or financial) should accrue to the carer from the relationship - other than the satisfaction and fulfillment which belong to the carer knowing that the work has been done for the benefit of the recipient;
• to work in such a way that the individual's or family's context, culture and social group are always taken into account with skill and respect;
• to maintain rigorously the principle of confidentiality within limits that are agreed in advance with the recipient. Only the likelihood of harm coming to a third party or any legal requirement in the case of minors or criminal activity is sufficient reason to break confidentiality and, except in extreme circumstances, the recipient should always be informed of the carer's intention to do so;
• to gain the recipient's informed consent before embarking on actions on his/her behalf;
• to make a commitment to attend regular training and support sessions and to be clear as to the limits of one's competency;
• to enable recipients to be free to disengage from one's services and/or from a relationship with one at any time. CONTRACTSAlthough pastoral care is very varied in its content, it should always be purposeful. Except for occasional one-off pastoral contacts and crisis work, all forms of pastoral work should be carried out within a framework which enables both the carer and the recipient to understand as clearly as possible the nature of the relationship between them and the ways in which it can be made as effective as possible. Every form of pastoral care should be developed from within a contractual relationship, which even though it may be quite informal, supports and sustains the relationship between the two parties. Elements of a pastoral contract should include answers to the following questions:
• who is the carer? One person, a pair, or a rota of people?
• to whom is care being offered? An individual, a couple, a family?
• what are the boundaries around the relationship? - timing, telephone contact, contact at other times or only agreed times?
• what is the purpose of the pastoral care being offered? Over time the aims may change but it should be possible to establish its overall purpose, so that this can be agreed and maintained between the carer and the recipient.
• where, when and how often is pastoral contact to occur?
• what happens if a gift is offered? This should not be encouraged. However, sensitivity to the recipient and the appropriateness of the gift are issues to take into consideration.
• To whom is the carer accountable? Carers should explain to whom they are accountable, in case the recipient wishes to make a complaint. The Rector bears ultimate responsibility, but complaints/queries should be routed through the Pastoral Co-ordinator. SKILLS AND ABILITIES• Pastoral carers should have basic listening skills, including the ability to put the other person in the centre and make appropriate relationships. Carers should be able to express their own opinions and views with care, not pushing an agenda - even an agenda of prayer or belief - on the person being visited.
• the ability to come to terms with feeling powerless and unable to take away the other's pain is important.
• the ability to be reliable and to keep rules of confidentiality. The visitor should understand how vital it is to refrain from any temptation to gossip about the contents of the visit.
• the ability to monitor the relationship and its effectiveness. The visitor should be able to check out with the person being visited how things are going, whether they would like a further visit and whether they are finding the visits useful to them.
• having maintained the relationship for as long as is helpful to the recipient, the carer should be able to draw the relationship to an end and evaluate the work done.
• the ability to communicate something of how the work is going to the supervisor or group and to see why it is important to do so regularly. Talking things over regularly in this way is essential in creating high standards of pastoral care and decreases the likelihood of visits becoming directionless and frustrating. TRAININGPastoral carers need to acquire, update and maintain the knowledge required to offer competent and purposeful care within their own sphere of pastoral work. Pastoral carers also need to grow in self knowledge so that they can understand enough of their own prejudices and personal needs to be able to act with discernment and self restraint. SUPPORTThe ongoing support of lay pastoral visitors is vital in creating and sustaining pastoral care of a high quality. This support may be given by the parish staff, or skilled lay person and may take the form of either one-to-one or group discussion. The provision of a listening space for pastoral visitors is vital for the growth of empathy, insight and confidence. Referral in pastoral work is essential in any situation where carers realize that the limits of their competence and training have been reached. The referral should be made with the full knowledge and consent of the recipient and after discussion with the pastoral team leader or minister to whichever agency, Christian or secular, which is best equipped to help. November 2003 | 